Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Does this make me a bad mother?

  • I give my toddler frozen Gogurt and tell her it’s ice cream.

  • When the girls receive new dolls with attached pacifiers or bottles, I break them off and pretend I don’t know what happened. Bob thinks the most recent one now perfectly meets our family goals of optimal infant feeding with appreciation for diversity: The baby has no bottle, but is now an African-American amputee. I didn’t mean for the whole forearm to break off. Really.

  • I’m too lazy put my toddler’s thumb in the thumb hole of her mittens.

  • I haven’t taught my 5-year-old to tie her shoes. And I have no plans to do so anytime soon. Do they make Velcro shoes for teenagers?

  • I feed Dori sunflower hearts to distract her while Addy and I do school — even though I know they’ll just end up wholly undigested in her diaper.

  • Usually I encourage the kids pick out their own outfits. And when I’m the one who picks out something that ends up looking funny, I pretend they did it.

  • I told Dori that Elmo (yes, the Sesame Street character) wants me to brush her teeth. Now she lets me.

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